Hawkfrost is Alive and Insane
by TheWolfPerson
Summary: Ok. Hawkfrost is alive... He's gone insane. Brambleclaw is a bit insane. Jaypaw, well he's not aloud to say 'bad' words, unlike is siblings because he is blind. What will happen? Will all cats die because of Hawkfrost? Or just become insane?
1. Ch1 Jaypaw is Yummy in our Tummies

**Hawkfrost is Alive and Insane**

Chapter 1

**Brambleclaw:** Eat up Jaypaw. It's yummy for your tummy!!

**Jaypaw:** You're such a dog.

**Brambleclaw:** Now I won't have you using that kind of language.

**Jaypaw:** All the other apprentices do! And you let Hollypaw and Lionpaw!

**Brambleclaw:** That's because they aren't blind.

_A strange cat jumps out of the bushes._

**???:** HELLO!!!!!! DID YA MISS ME!?

**Jaypaw:** Who the fox are you?

**Brambleclaw:** Language.

_The strange cat looks at Jaypaw._

**???:** I AM THE COOLEST CAT!

**Brambleclaw:** Well excuse me. That is already taken.

**???:** OH YEAH! AT LEAST I HAVE MORE COURAGE THEN A MOUSE!! HAHAHAHA!

**Jaypaw:** You're crazy!

**???:** IF I AM YOU MUST HAVE SOME CRAZY IN YOU!

_Jaypaw looks at the strange cat with a puzzled look on his face._

**???:** YOU STILL HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT??

**Brambleclaw: **Figured what out?

**???: **IM HAWKFROST JAYPAWS DEAD HALF-UNCLE! Why did you kill me Brambleclaw? Your own brother. _Cries. _It hurts to die. ESPECIALY WHEN THERE IS A KIWI GUN INVOLVED!!

**Brambleclaw: **You knew about that?

**Jaypaw: **What the mouse is a kiwi gun?

**Brambleclaw:** LANGUAGE!!! _Gets out kiwi gun. _UNLESS YOU WANT TO DIE! ONE MORE BAD WORD AND YOUR DEAD!

**Hawkfrost: **Can I say bad words?

**Brambleclaw: **Yes.

**Jaypaw:** WHAT THE MOUSE? JUST BECAUSE IM MOUSING BLIND I CAN'T MOUSING SWEAR?

**Brambleclaw: **THAT'S IT! YOUR GONNA DIE! _Shoots Jaypaw._ Oh mouse. Where am I going to put his body?

**Hawkfrost: **What about young Lionpaw and Hollypaw. I'm sure they would enjoy some cat meat. Squirrelflight would enjoy it too.

**Brambleclaw: **SQUIRRELFLIGHT, HOLLYPAW, LIONPAW! COME HERE!

**Hollypaw: **What is it dad?

**Lionpaw:** Who's that?

**Squirrelflight:** What happened to Jaypaw?

**Brambleclaw: **Kids, this is your half uncle Hawkfrost. I killed Jaypaw with my kiwi gone because he was swearing and he annoyed me. And I called you here to try some cat meat.

_Everyone starts eating._

**Lionpaw:** That was yummy!

**Hawkfrost:** HAHAHA!! RUBBER DUCKY!!! HAHAHAHAHA! FLOWERS!!! GRASS!!! TREE! ROCK FLYING TOWARDS ME!! HAHAHAH-

**???:** Brambleclaw, what have you done? Why is Hawkfrost alive? Where is Jaypaw?

**Brambleclaw: **Well, Hawkfrost came out of nowhere. I haven't done much. How about you? And Jaypaw is yummy in our tummies.

**???:** WHAT THE MOUSE?? HOW COULD YOU BETRAY YOUR LEADER?

**Brambleclaw:** What did I do? _Burp_

**Firestar: **You didn't ask me if I wanted any.

**Hawkfrost:** Hey Squirrelflight. How's a going? Want to have an affair.

**Squirrelflight:** Ew no. I'm not having an affair with a dead cat.

**Hawkfrost:** What about you Hollypaw?

**Hollypaw:** Maybe after I'm a warrior.

**Firestar: **_cough. _She kills Ashfur then gets banished into tunnels and dies. I didn't say anything.

**Hawkfrost:** I got an idea.

**Hollypaw:** AHHHHHHHH!

**Brambleclaw:** Do you want some Firestar?

**Firestar:** Yes.

**Hawkfrost:** Do you have any peppers or graded fox?

**Firestar:** Yes.

**Squirrelflight:** WTF! I'm surrounded by IDIOTS!!

**Brambleclaw:** Do you want to go there?

**Squirrelflight:** No…

**Lionpaw: **THEN SHUT UP!

**???: **What's going on? HAWKFROST IS THAT YOU?

**Hawkfrost: **Nooooo……………..

**???: **I was hoping it was. I miss him. Hey guys… What happened to Jaypaw and Hollypaw?

**Brambleclaw:** Tawnypelt, what are you doing here?

**Tawnypelt:** I was bored. Can I have some mice?

**Hawkfrost:** No.

**Squirrelflight: **Of course you can.

**Hawkfrost:** Fine. Then I can ask this. Tawnypelt, want to have an affair with me?


	2. Ch2 Superman asks abouts his kits

**Wolf: Sorry for not showing up last chapter. I was scared I was going to get eaten...**

**Firestar: Or you forgot.**

**Wolf: O-o-of course I didn't forget! D-d-duh!**

**Firestar: Of course....**

**Wolf: SOMEONE DO THE DISCLAIMER ALREADY!! BRAMBLECLAW! YOU WILL!**

**Brambleclaw: Fine. Wolf doesn't own any of the warriors series otherwise Tigerstar and Hawkfrost would be alive and Millie would be dead and Graystripe would be living happily with Silverstream.**

* * *

Chapter 2

**Hawkfrost:** Lalalala. I like to SING~~ I LIKE APPLES!!

**Brambleclaw:** Hehehe. Watch this Hawkfrost. Hey. How's a going Ferncloud?

**Ferncloud:** Good, how are you?

**Brambleclaw: **I'm fine… I was just up all night thinking about you…

**Ferncloud:** Really? I mean… aren't you mates with Squirrelflight?

**Brambleclaw:** Yes. But she's nothing like you…

**Ferncloud:** Brambleclaw… What if Dustpelt comes back?

**Brambleclaw:** Shh… Don't say another word.

**Dustpelt:** Brambleclaw, what are you doing?!?!

**Brambleclaw:** HAWKFROST NOW WE RUN!

**Hawkfrost:** You are awesome! TEACH ME!

**Brambleclaw:** Wait, first of all, did you have an affair with my sister?

**Hawkfrost:** No.

**Brambleclaw:** Okay. I'll teach you. Hey, look it's Millie. I want to see what you've got. Go up and try.

**Hawkfrost:** Hey Millie.

**Millie:** Who the mouse are you? Wait, YOUR HAWKFROST!

**Hawkfrost:** Sh… not another word. I was up all night thinking about you.

**Millie:** Get away from me flea brain.

**Hawkfrost:** That hurt…

**Millie:** I'm not about to cheat on Graystripe for some dead cat who is a traitor.

**Hawkfrost:** Fine. Well, that hurt.

**Brambleclaw: **I see we have a lot to work on… Well, first of all, we need to make you look more alive. And more sexy like me.

**Hawkfrost:** But I am hot!

**Brambleclaw:** Okay… sure you are. Let's try it out on Brightheart. Just beware of Cloudtail. Because of the whole eye thing he's very sensitive when it comes to her.

**Hawkfrost: **Hey Brightheart.

**Brightheart:** WTF? _Runs away._

**Brambleclaw:** You couldn't get the easiest girl in the forest! That's it I give up!

**Hawkfrost:** We barely started!

**Brambleclaw:** I don't care. You're inpossi- TREE!

**Hawkfrost:** WHERE??? RUBBA DUCKY! WHERE IS MY MOUSING RUBBA DUCKY??

**Brambleclaw:** Come get your rubber ducky!

**Hawkfrost:** GIVE ME MY RUB- Ooh look it's Jaypaw's carcass. And Hollypaw's too. Do you feel guilty for killing your kits and then eating them?

**Brambleclaw:** Nope. Jaypaw was annoying and Hollypaw was going to die any way. So…

**???:** DAH DAH DAH DAAAAAAAAAAH! IT"S SUPERMAN TO RESCUE THESE TWO FROM BOREDOM!

**Brambleclaw & Hawkfrost:** SUPERMAN???

**Superman:** Yup.

**Brambleclaw:** ….

**Hawkfrost:** OMG! OMG! OMFG! ITS SUPERMAN!

**Superman:** I'm so cool aren't I?

**Brambleclaw:** Hey… I know this cat. You really think I would forget you after the long, great journey?

**Superman:** Y-y-you d-d-didn't go on a j-j-j-journey with m-m-m-me.

**Brambleclaw:** YA RIGHT! YOU ARE CROWFEATHER!!

**Superman(or is it Crowfeather?):** NOOO! MY IDENTITY IS REVEALED!

**Hawkfrost:** So there's no superman?

**Brambleclaw:** Nope.

**Hawkfrost: **I WANT SUPERMAN!!

**Crowfeather aka Superman:** Too bad. RAWR!

**Hawkfrost:** AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! _Runs away screaming._

**Brambleclaw: **_mutters._ Look who has no more courage than a mouse…

**Hawkfrost:** I HEARD THAT!

**Brambleclaw:** GOOD!

**Crowfeather aka Superman:** Uh… What's going on?

**???:** Crowfeather… IS THAT YOU???

**Crowfeather aka Superman:** LEAFPOOL?? OMG MY LOVE! How is our ki-?

**Hawkfrost:** KITS?

**Brambleclaw:** No… He was going to say… kidney.

**Hawkfrost:** What?

**Leafpool:** We found a two legs kidney. Yeah. That's what he was going to say. It's fine except for two of them. One eaten with HOLLY as decoration and the other got eaten by a mountain LION and his so called PARENTS. **(A.N. She's saying Hollypaw was eaten and Lionpaw ate Jaypaw with his parents.)**

**Crowfeather aka Superman:** That's terrible. Do you know if they tasted good?

**Leafpool:** They told me it was good.

**Hawkfrost:** WHAT?? You can talk to mountain lions? AWESOME! **(A.N. Of course he doesn't get it.)**

**???:** Rawr. I am here to avenge my death.

**Hawkfrost:** Who might you be… Oh… a mountain lion… LEAFPOOL TALK TO HIM!

**Brambleclaw: **IT'S SHARPTOOTH! AND LEAFPOOL CAN"T TALK TO IT! I DON'T KNOW HOW WE UNDERSTAND IT!

**Hawkfrost:** What?

**

* * *

**

**Wolf: Ok...**

**Hawkfrost: I STILL DON'T HAVE MY RUBBA DUCKY!**

**Wolf: HERE!**

**Hawkfrost: YAY! THAN YOU!**

**Brambleclaw: My half brother is insane...**

**Wolf: Someone do the final thingy. Hawkfrost! DO IT!**

**Hawkfrost: Please R & R!! HAHAHAHA!!**


	3. Authors Note

**Berry: Hey guys! I'm sorry i have to do this... I've noticed that I have too many stories up and i can only write so much at a time... So for now I'm going to put most my stories on hold. Including this one.**

**Ikuto: pussy.**

**Amu: you try writing a whole bunch of stories at once -_-**

**Utau: I guess it's hard. But of course im always up for a challenge**

**Kukai: you can do it berry!**

**Nagi: Berry is very sorry to her -cough- very, very, very, very few -cough- fans.**

**Berry: thanks nagi.**

**Rima: sooooooo wich order r ur stories going in?**

**Berry: this is the order ill b working on. all the others will b put on hold**

**1: The Prince and his Toy**

**2: Remember Me**

**3: Emails**

**4: What Happens when a Playboy falls for a Playgirl (geez i need a shorter title)**

**5: Hawkfrost is Alive and Insane**

**SORRY GUYS AND GALS! D:**


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